Doing My Insomnia Favors

I can hear the scrape of the shovel on the drive out front as Craig hauls a foot of snow off the driveway and onto the lawn. I got some freaky ass email from a neighbor that some young man in a shitty white truck fired three gun shots into the air while her son and three friends were playing in the snow earlier today.  So I’ve propped the front door open and asked Craig not to play his headphones too loud while he works. If he needs to make a quick escape into the house, all entrances are ready to receive him.

I stood at the window and watched him shovel for about 20 minutes.  He didn’t see me, but I liked watching him work.  So methodical.  So uncomplaining.  So precise and even-keeled.  He’s a wonder, my husband.  I liked watching him work in the dark like that.  I kept my eyes on the driveway willing the snow to stop falling so he could look back when he was done and see a big long strip of black pavement between the snow drifts he was creating. No traces of the next shoveling job to come sprinkling the drive.

I’ve got less than 8 weeks to go until our third son is born.  Supposedly less than 8 weeks, but it might be more.  Probably will be. My third trimester insomnia is settling in nicely.  Each night there are these long periods where I find myself unwillingly awake and just sort of churning out random thoughts at a rapid pace.  Sometimes I try to slow my breathing and do counting exercises or pray an autopiloted rosary, but often it ends up making me feel even more tense and then I become aware of my breathing in a way you’re not supposed to be and then breathing becomes voluntary rather than involuntary.  And that is always such a discomfort.

When my breathing gets that way,  I’ll just flip over to my other side.  When I was little, I used to think that if I laid on my right side, the left side of my brain had more room to be active and vice versa.  So if I was on my left side, my thinking was right-brained.  And if I lay on my right side, I was left-brained.  And while there is obviously no scientific basis for this belief of mine, I still sort of follow it and, when out of sorts mentally, just flip myself over to air out the other side of my brain.  Sometimes it even works.

Each pregnancy seems to have an insomnia theme.  Though I don’t know that I could tell you what the theme was for Sam or Henry, just that I know there was one.   This pregnancy, the insomnia centers around regrets. I think about things I’ve regretted saying.  And every time I think about them, I feel ashamed.

One I often think about is from years ago when I was at a family reunion.  My family is huge and we all went around and said our names because there were so many of us who didn’t know each other.  I was the first in my immediate family to speak, and I introduced myself with both my mother’s maiden name and my father’s name too.  And then my mother went right after me and used only my father’s name and I boiled with shame — like I had not only embarrassed myself but that I had embarrassed my father somehow.  It had never even been my name, yet I claimed it, as if his name alone was not enough for me.

Another time I think of often is when my grandmother, who was dying, called me in to sit with her on her bed to go through her jewelry.  She was giddy about it, like a schoolgirl.  It’ll be so much fun!  And she had so much there.  I wanted her to be happy.  And I wanted her to know that I wanted whatever she cared to give me.  Whatever little trinket she left with me was of value and I didn’t much care what it looked like.  She kept pressing things into my hands and asking me to inspect them.  Did I like it?  Would I wear it?  Do I want it? I just kept saying yes.  I like this.  Yes.  I’ll wear this. Yes, I want it.  And then something shifted in the air and it wasn’t fun for her anymore and she laughed this barky kind of laugh and and said something like “Well, I think you’ve got your fair share, don’t you?”  I was mortified.  She read me wrong in that moment but there was no way to correct it and I just sort of slunk out of the room, my hands bulging with her valuables that I never wear, but just keep in the velvet pouch that she put them in.  The pouch still smells of her cigarettes and perfume.  Once a year, I open it and inhale her scent, praying each time I pull the string that it’ll still be there.  But she died thinking that I was somehow glad to finally get my hands on her jewelry, which will always be a source of sadness for me.  Unfixable.

I’ve just finished reading The Age of Miracles.  Which was a lovely little book.  So melancholy, but I enjoy that.  I have The Passage up next.  Two books about the end of the word right in a row.  Not doing my insomnia any favors, am I?

Things I am Tired of Reading About On the Internet/Seeing on TV/Hearing on the Radio/Etc.

Seth MacFarlane and whether his jokes went too far or not far enough at the Oscars

Whether celebrities might have had their feelings hurt at the Oscars where they were cloaked in free expensive shit and given big heaping bags of free expensive shit because they happened to show up to be honored and then went to parties with lots more free expensive shit

Snow and the havoc it wreaks on our lives.  (OMG it’s SNOOOOOOOOOWING ON ME AND I AM GOING TO DIE!  LOOK AT THAT THE HARDWARE STORE HARDLY HAS ANY SNOW SHOVELS LEFT BECAUSE IT IS MOTHERFUCKING SNOWING OUTSIDE CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?  yes.  i can believe it.  for it is winter, the time of snowing.)

What people are eating, going to eat or not going to eat anymore

Whether people have headaches, stomachaches or other aches

Posts that blame all Republicans everywhere for everything bad in the world

Posts that blame all Democrats everywhere for everything bad in the world

Politicians and their seeming inability to conduct themselves in a manner that I consistently demand from my three and six year old sons

Skewed statistical data that supports whatever argument you happen to side with but is, in reality, and statistically speaking, completely meaningless and unethical to pose as fact

How Facebook is stealing our information and using it to their monetary advantage (doi)

Posts that throw a thin veil over your opinion that you secretly think you are doing life better than everybody else

Posts that throw a thin veil over your opinion that you secretly think your life is much harder than anybody else

Posts about how hipsters are super cool

Posts about how hipsters are not super cool anymore and what is really cool is being a hipster but SAYING you are not a hipster

Posts full of all complaints

Posts completely void of any complaint and syrupy sugary sweet about how perfect everything is all the time and if you ever feel sad or annoyed it is because you are an ungrateful monster

Posts about people doing moderately nice things to one another all blown out of proportion as if the original nice person was Mother Teresa herself

Vague posts like “Was it even worth it?” or “Guess I better crawl in a hole for now”

Lame posts like “I can’t wait for 5 o’clock!”  or  ”Headed to the gym!”

Posts that are clearly inside jokes between three people that end up making your other 800 “friends” feel sort of left out and empty

Mean-spirited posts like this one that I’m writing now that only pump more anger and venom onto the internet

This is why I hardly ever post anything anymore.  Because it is virtually impossible not to navel gaze blog/tweet/update a status without doing one of these things.

 

Sweet Lordy Lord.  I gots me a bad attitude about the internet lately.  I think I need to go on internet detox.

You know what I can’t get enough of though?  That frowning cat that says “My patronus is a dementor.”  I can’t get enough of that one.  For real.  I laugh every time I see it.

I think I might be turning into that cat.  For I am outlandishly round with child and it is affecting my ability to be nice.

This is the new me:

 

 

Have a lovely weekend.  I actually do mean that, despite all evidence to lead you to believe otherwise.

Can’t Hack It

I woke up this morning feeling like I couldn’t come out of a stupor.  I mean, I just couldn’t wake up properly.  Henry sort of snuggled/wrestled me and I flopped around just sort of going with it and hanging on to sleep as long as possible.  Sam gave me a hug and when I wrapped my arm round him I felt that he had changed partially into his school clothes — which is a major victory for him to do so without being prompted several times so I gave him some extra pats on his bottom.

I hauled myself out of bed and made breakfast.  I let Henry push down the lever on the toaster.  He pulled out the little guitar we brought home yesterday for the baby’s room.  He played me a really loud song while I padded around the kitchen absentmindedly.  He reminded me that this was HIS toy and that HE was still the baby and I just patted him on the head thinking, “Oh boy, are we gonna have a time of it when this little guy comes.”

I finished making breakfast and went and laid back down in my dark room on my cool bed and texted Craig good morning.  He took my car to the dealership today to deal with the flat tire I got yesterday in Indiana.  He texted me that the car didn’t have a flat tire but that someone had let the air out.  And they think it might be because of my Obama sticker.  And he thinks it may be time to take it off.  To which I replied, “No way.  This aggression will not stand, man.”

I’ve got so much to do today.  I have so much to do every day, frankly.  And  I know that this is pretty much most human beings on earth, but today, I feel particularly burdened by it.  Between being a stay at home mom who does all the shopping and a lot of cleaning and cooking and a hell of a lot of mothering, and a student of the dreaded statistics (which OH. MY. GOD. What a hideous, heinous class) and my job responsibilities which have been hectic and sort of “put out the fire” of late, and upcoming rehearsals for a show I’m re-directing, and the Saturdays I spend judging speech tournaments, and the Sundays spent house hunting, and prepping for baby threepeat, and being nearly eight months pregnant… I just feel pretty taxed.  I feel lucky, but damn it, I feel taxed too.  I am aware that we are all sort of on our own and don’t really understand what the other is going through.  That most people are overwhelmed and feel like they have too many responsibilities and that if someone else stepped into their lives they couldn’t hack it.  And I imagine a lot of us are right.  The truth is, you couldn’t hack it in my life, and I couldn’t hack it in yours.

Anyway, I picked myself up out of bed and took Sam to school.  Henry brought the guitar and continued to play us songs until I begged him to take a break and then Sam and I discussed what the tooth fairy does with all the teeth she collects.  Our hypotheses: She gives them to little babies (ew), she uses them as decorations in her house, she uses them to build her house, or the teeth have magical properties and she uses them for potions.  Then we discussed where she lives (either Asia, South America, the North Pole or on an undiscovered island somewhere.)  He got out of the car and disappeared into his unknown day and Henry and I came home.

I put on Cars for him and he snuggled up in my lap saying “I’m your baby, mama! (oh boy) and I told him “you sure are.  No matter how big you get, you’ll always be my baby and I’ll hold you and rock you as much as you like.” And then he kissed my belly and said “hi little brother” and then I wish I could tell you that I cried or something but what really happened is he hopped up and got his cars to play with and I went in the kitchen and made peanut butter toast and, quite frankly, I postponed about 1/2 of the things on my to-do list leaving me a good solid manageable list of things to do today plus a big pile of guilt.

Onwards we go.  I hope you are having a good day.  I hope you are not overwhelmed by your tasks (even if they are good tasks) or by something much more ominous and scary and meaningful than an interminable uncompleteable task list.   Hugs and kisses and snuggles to all the little babies who’ve grown up. I hope someone reminds you today that they couldn’t hack it being you.  Because they couldn’t.