Flashback Friday: Stupid Happy

Dear internet,

Welcome to the first installment of Flashback Friday where I post a journal entry written years ago and then write a brief letter from my current self to my former self.  The first is from October 28, 2004.  Enjoy!

***

I can’t stop eating today. My period will be here in mere hours. Birth control reins the whole reproductive system in with a vice grip. I just had pudding. It was hardly satisfactory. The only thing that could satiate me now is either a cigarette or my own personal salt lick.

So. I’m married now.

Yeah, I know!

Do I look different to you? Other than bloated, of course.

Since my return from Jamaica (our honeymoon locale), I am in a blissful haze and I pray with my heart and soul that it remains forever. Because, so far, what marriage has meant to me is:

1. Being immensely grateful to God and my husband for their existence.

2. Laughing at stupid problems.

3. Eating good food and not worrying about it and not gaining weight in the process. (At least not too much to be worried yet.)

4. Feeling peaceful even when I’m sad mad and annoyed.

5. Fulfilling my true responsibilities easily.

6. Finding it easier to really listen to people.

7. Feeling much less obsessive.

Frankly, I could live like this forever. I mean, we have a training this week at work and I’ve not even talked about it. Well, now I did, but just to prove a point.

I’m still planning to look for a new job though. I may be happy, but I’m not an idiot.

***

Dear Old Self-

Do you remember what your true responsibilities are?  If so, it’d be really helpful if you wrote them down somewhere and saved them for me.

Thanks,

Current Self