Seth MacFarlane and whether his jokes went too far or not far enough at the Oscars
Whether celebrities might have had their feelings hurt at the Oscars where they were cloaked in free expensive shit and given big heaping bags of free expensive shit because they happened to show up to be honored and then went to parties with lots more free expensive shit
Snow and the havoc it wreaks on our lives. (OMG it’s SNOOOOOOOOOWING ON ME AND I AM GOING TO DIE! LOOK AT THAT THE HARDWARE STORE HARDLY HAS ANY SNOW SHOVELS LEFT BECAUSE IT IS MOTHERFUCKING SNOWING OUTSIDE CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? yes. i can believe it. for it is winter, the time of snowing.)
What people are eating, going to eat or not going to eat anymore
Whether people have headaches, stomachaches or other aches
Posts that blame all Republicans everywhere for everything bad in the world
Posts that blame all Democrats everywhere for everything bad in the world
Politicians and their seeming inability to conduct themselves in a manner that I consistently demand from my three and six year old sons
Skewed statistical data that supports whatever argument you happen to side with but is, in reality, and statistically speaking, completely meaningless and unethical to pose as fact
How Facebook is stealing our information and using it to their monetary advantage (doi)
Posts that throw a thin veil over your opinion that you secretly think you are doing life better than everybody else
Posts that throw a thin veil over your opinion that you secretly think your life is much harder than anybody else
Posts about how hipsters are super cool
Posts about how hipsters are not super cool anymore and what is really cool is being a hipster but SAYING you are not a hipster
Posts full of all complaints
Posts completely void of any complaint and syrupy sugary sweet about how perfect everything is all the time and if you ever feel sad or annoyed it is because you are an ungrateful monster
Posts about people doing moderately nice things to one another all blown out of proportion as if the original nice person was Mother Teresa herself
Vague posts like “Was it even worth it?” or “Guess I better crawl in a hole for now”
Lame posts like “I can’t wait for 5 o’clock!” or ”Headed to the gym!”
Posts that are clearly inside jokes between three people that end up making your other 800 “friends” feel sort of left out and empty
Mean-spirited posts like this one that I’m writing now that only pump more anger and venom onto the internet
This is why I hardly ever post anything anymore. Because it is virtually impossible not to navel gaze blog/tweet/update a status without doing one of these things.
Sweet Lordy Lord. I gots me a bad attitude about the internet lately. I think I need to go on internet detox.
You know what I can’t get enough of though? That frowning cat that says “My patronus is a dementor.” I can’t get enough of that one. For real. I laugh every time I see it.
I think I might be turning into that cat. For I am outlandishly round with child and it is affecting my ability to be nice.
This is the new me:
Have a lovely weekend. I actually do mean that, despite all evidence to lead you to believe otherwise.
Every single one of these items are on my list of reasons for moving to Sweden, or Andora or maybe even Zimbabwe. I’m fairly certain that they don’t have any of these problems in these countries. I also think that they are fine with me hanging my purse on my front door with my polka dot granny panties and letting my lace sports bra with zippers fly from the flagpole.
OK I’m pretty much in agreement. But I still KNOW republicans are what is wrong with the world. Fact is fact